|
[Tuesday
July 7th 12:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Velvet Eden: Dead Man's Child -minus 1 Gakusho- |
] |
Plainly, I have no passion in my life.
I can't see myself finishing these last two years of school. Thinking of it in longer terms than a week makes me want to cry for all that wasted time. I'd been so sure of myself in high school, that I was settled for my future. So determined to learn and participate and then it all got swallowed up into nothing the moment I stepped into a studio.
For the first time in my life I'd wondered about visiting France. Anywhere, to get out of my skin.
That club in the back alleys of a big city still calls to me though. I think that's all I have left.
|
|
| For the people |
[Sunday
July 5th 11:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Noir Desir: L'Europe |
] |
Been having odd dreams, with no real connections to my life. The girls from my high school, wolves devouring magical creatures in a meadow, a magical brown coat with sheepskin lining, stealing said coat and balding as punishment, my brother and I going through a witch's thrift store looking for gloves, boxes stored in an attic, driving, being orphaned and homeless, forests with unending trees.
My life's been taken over by sewing and French music. And I just want to get out of my house.
|
|
| Um... |
[Thursday
July 2nd 5:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Vega's let's plays. lol |
] |
Right, so my phone broke yet again. After two days of trying to unpry the casing, I finally got my card out and into my (also broken) back-up phone, but a few numbers might have been lost. :/ Too bad I have a few more months before I can get a new one.
Don't ever buy that particular series folks.
A guy I know will be on MTV's pathetic version of Silent Library at 5:30pm EST today. I wonder how he signed up for it. XD
My brother's off to his yearly camp thing for 3 weeks, and now I'm left at home with the parents. Words can't describe how much I envy his having 3 weeks away from an OCD mother and a dad who throws tantrums of preschool proportions and hasn't spoken to me in a week (as if I were at fault)
I have spent the last week sewing non stop. I'm sewing the stitches for Dr. Stein's coat by hand, and so far it's an unending task, taking about half a dozen more yards of string than I figured. .__.;
EDIT: I swear, I only missed 1.5 days of checking my FL and I give up after 400 past entries. Hope I didn't miss anything...
|
|
| On the news |
[Saturday
June 27th 3:28pm] |
|
You know, I still can't believe Michael Jackson is dead. There goes an enormous contributor to musical history, a death on John Lennon proportions of epic-ness. He was a part of my own childhood, and I still take out my copy of Thriller to sing along with every so often. I can remember before summer vacation started, Ann, Ferrah and I had a day of blasting his music until girls down the hall yelled at us.
And for all that, I hate that his death has overwhelmed the news of Ferrah Faucett's death, who passed away hours before him. She deserved just as much attention and love.
RIP both.
Shannon! Since I shun AIM, we should get together in the city somewhere nice to have drinks lunch and you can tell me about your adventures. ;__;
|
|
| On high society |
[Wednesday
June 24th 7:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Noir Desir: Ernestine |
] |
As if there hasn't been enough things to make me laugh this week, I now have the cherry on my sundae. My Kamen-loving friends will enjoy this:
Gackt is Riderman
So far, my Dr.Stein screw is progressing nicely. The rest of the costume is not. >>
I haven't much left the house the past week, but I'm enjoying myself. Mostly by not thinking about myself. Excepting driving here and there, during which I wonder how do people do enjoy it? D: I'm a mess in the car.
|
|
| BTW |
[Saturday
June 20th 9:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 jubilant |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Killers: Who Let You Go |
] |
To the makers of The Taking of Pelham 123:
NYC trains aren't that clean and shiny. Not even the 6, one of the supposed cleanest trains.
Trust me.
Other than that, kudos.
-C
|
|
| BLAH |
[Friday
June 12th 8:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
movies |
] |
Pissed off beyond belief. Can't go to Anime Next. Now that work's over, need to start cosplay work. Fuck life.
I love how this video keeps coming back to haunt me all the time. YES
|
|
| Now what? |
[Monday
June 8th 12:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
TV |
] |
As usual, I feel a mess.
Monetary issues are usually the furthest thing from my mind, but now they've decided to leap up and make me feel old and helpless.
Following my own selfish ways, I've decided to treat myself to 2 cons, Otakon and AnimeNext. But since that runs into the hundreds, add in gas money, Father's Day, costume money, food, meaningless crap I can't control myself from buying, and then we got issues. :/
Since I started working half way during a pay cycle, I haven't been paid in quite a while. I work at a school, and summer vacaation's starting soon. I can't ask my parents for money because they just bought me a damn car. I think I'll have to break out the credit card for the first time in my life. D:
omgwhinewtfamigoingtodo -_-
I certainly don't feel jealous that many of friends' lives seem to be going wonderfully, and they're happy with their choices, it makes me feel left out. If left to my own devices, I'd be a lazy country-hopping concert-goer forever. But there's so much other stuff I want to do with my life. I just can't seem to work up the motivation. I wish I knew why..
And I'm scared to admit it to myself, but something's wrong with my aunt's memory. Very wrong, and it might be something I certainly don't want to hear. She's my second mom. And my family, being idiots on both sides, aren't doing anything about. All I can do is go talk to her privately by myself. But what do you say?
|
|
| Bonjour honey! |
[Monday
June 1st 11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
MUCC: Saishuu Resha -70's mix- |
] |
To the ladies who replied to my last entry, I just wanna say thanks. I hope I didn't come off as a whiny child, but I was just really disappointed in everything and needed to vent a bit. I'm happy that people can understand and still be really nice and cheer me up. The belated wishes are absolutely welcome and appreciated. ♥
On more frivolous matters: I need anime suggestions! Action, adventure, comedy, serious shows are most welcome. Romance (aka cutesy/girly), vampire (except Hellsing) sports stuff is not. :P
I finally caught up with a few shows and the Soul Eater ending left me so wtf-ed and had so many loose ends that I almost don't want to cosplay Stein anymore. :/ Glass Fleet = dandy-fied version of Utena. My sixth sense about finding good shows has never been so off..
I also need a new layout. -_-
|
|
| WHERE'S THE LOVE |
[Sunday
May 31st 8:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bleach~ |
] |
So I'm 21. With nothing to show for it.
I was terribly excited, but it simply happened to be the worst birthday ever. :/ Conflicting schedules and vacations made it impossible to hang out with anyone, so I had to spend my birthday first getting some car business out of the way, and then had to go to my aunt's house.
It was rather crushing and I spent the whole week crying and upset. I wish I could just ignore it, but I'd been looking forward to a whole fun weekend and got nothing instead. But today, I hung out with Duo, which made me feel a lot better. Chocolate always helps <3
Here's hoping that next week I can hang out with some of my favorite girls and have fun...
|
|
| WOW |
[Monday
May 25th 8:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Seat Belts: New York Rush |
] |
I'm a proud momma.
Labor was long and difficult.
Still rather dazed and confused.
Any ideas for a name?
|
|
| On peace and quiet. |
[Saturday
May 23rd 10:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Seat Belts- Piano Black |
] |
There's nothing to soothe the soul like jazz.
It was Yoko Kanno who developed my tunnel vision for audio engineering. And even though that's faded away over the years, her productions still make life so much more livable.
|
|
| On long streets and alleys |
[Saturday
May 23rd 4:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Velvet Eden: FAN LETTER Kurenai |
] |
Car shopping leaves me discouraged and feeling completely intimidated and ignorant. :/ (wtf- insurance goes up with your color choice)
No one will be around for my birthday this Saturday. The only country/state that people won't be is in South America. (wow)
Excepting the occasional fit I throw at realizing how depressing that is, I think I'm in a pretty good mood lately.
|
|
| On "one thing- the grotesque." |
[Thursday
May 21st 12:29am] |
|
It's thrilling how the music can bring anything back, that was lying just beneath the surface.
For the art-inclined:
( more )
Aubrey Beardsley
|
|
|
[Thursday
May 14th 2:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Iron Man |
] |
Day Two of being back in New York. Seems things with my parents are going moderately well? No real aggravations so far. Life just involves wishing I could spend faaar more money than what I have. :/
Plans for summer:
+ Haircut
+ Car shopping (I hate driving)
+ Filling up a harddrive of music to put in said car.
+ Birthday plans (Anyone interested in a drag restaurant?)
+ Costumes (omfg, Kyuzo, Stein, Kami, ???)
+ Going to Otakon (Whole else is going? :D)
Also: Yay New York! (Very slow on the news front)
So many good movies lately, re watching Iron for the 20th time, waiting for the next Transformers~ :D
|
|
| On living long and prosper~ |
[Sunday
May 10th 3:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Notting Hill on TV |
] |
So I've taken a short break from my Atlantica binging and enjoying the room to myself (roommate's gone home) to write about THE STAR TREK MOVIE.
Saw it yesterday and it was mind blowing. I have only seen the original series and it's been years since I've actively watched the show. But seeing the movie again brought all my fanaticism to the surface. I flailed, got teary-eyed, squeaked throughout the entire thing. I hadn't realized just how attached I was the show. I think the characterization was wonderful, even though Sylar would occasionally break through Spock's actions. XD (Quinto was Spock actor, also Sylar in HEROES)
Only thing I couldn't wrap my mind around was that relationship. And maybe the destruction of a certain race. -coughcough- Also Chekov's non-Russian Russian accent. But that's all livable, and I really want to see it again. *__*
In my personal life: Ferrah's annoying drama-shit has me entirely sick of her for the moment and I've been avoiding her. Fang is still the greatest dude I know, new friends Andy and Alex are my shining stars, because I'm so sick of women. (Even if Andy's a tranny) I'm so happy to be going home away from everyone here in CT! Two more days!!
Back to your regular scheduled MMO-ing.
|
|
| Spotlight in my heart. |
[Saturday
May 2nd 10:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
TV |
] |
May 2nd has rolled around again.
Here in Connecticut, the weather's lovely. I remember last year when it raining hard, my trip to his grave, the beach, six hours travel time. xD Which means it's been a year since the hide memorial summit. One year since the most awesome shows of my life.
Lately, I'd been missing Japan a lot. Once more, escapism has hit me again. And to avoid all the memories bubbling up, I hadn't been listened to a lot of Japanese music. But I found all my old hide albums and it was wonderful and refreshing to hear all those songs again. It means he's still making me feel happier and making me smile.
I almost wish it was raining, it'd be a fun excuse to use my LEMONed umbrella. :3
PS: I'd really love this Zippo.
|
|
| Hishaburi |
[Monday
April 27th 7:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Psychedelic Furs: Love My Way |
] |
Hmm, Shannon's right. I'm simply an imaginary friend. Put me in Foster's.. >>
I've been meaning to update for so long, but the intentions have been buried by work and reports, small life dramas, naturally Atlantica, and a few new friends. :D I write my entries on paper during classes and that's where their journey ends. My bag is filled with scraps as proof.
My school has reached its breaking point. Our student body has nothing to do except die and experience extreme violence this semester. Four (or five) deaths, including homicide, armed hostage, robbers, break-in to residence houses, police beatings, fires, stabbings, rape. Go UHA! =__= Spring Fling was this weekend. A yearly celebration into a mass spring break-esque orgy of hysteria. It's rather fun. Didn't enjoy myself as much as I would've liked, but fun none the less.
My classes end in a week or so, a few finals lefts, and I have my usual job waiting for me at St. John's. I'm going to see how my parents react to the idea of buying my car now for my 21st birthday. If a concert was coming up soon, this summer would be looking rather fun.
And now for the obligatory angst. I'm writing this paragraph for my own benefit. So I don't forget what happened. Ray visited last week and I'm glad because I can move on after seeing he's a whole new person now and nothing real was ever there. The disppointment hurts, but I'd always rather know.
On happier notes, HOW'S EVERYONE?
|
|
| -guitar solo- BASS! |
[Tuesday
March 24th 4:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hide: Bacteria |
] |
So yesterday was the one year anniversary of my trip to Japan. My friend also left yesterday, same program as mine. I simply can't help but be jealous and sad. Heartache's the right word.
I wish I could go back.
Life's looking up though. Spring break was wonderfully lazy. :D
|
|
| OH BLUE SKY |
[Friday
March 20th 8:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hide: BLUE SKY COMPLEX |
] |
It's snowing.
SNOWING. On the first day of spring, thick and piling up fast. This song is ironically fitting.
The world really does try to make me agoraphobic...
|
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] |
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